try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
