By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
