Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I need help removing her.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
