evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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