dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize