I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize