no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I skipped work to stalk him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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