yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
