just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
