just come out here and I will go home with you...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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