So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I need to align my fucking chakras
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
