this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
