I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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