He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
