I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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