weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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