i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
