Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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