found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
