i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
