all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
