Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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