I think i sorta joined a cult last night
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
