Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
