hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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