Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
