Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
