i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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