i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
