im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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