sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.