"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic