I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
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the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
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Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis