Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
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You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
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While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
you made out with another girl for some wings