he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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