Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize