That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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