i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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