This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
