He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
