Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
