We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Let's get the cat blown out
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
