this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
