I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
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this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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