4 words: hood of his car
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My vagina is officially offended.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
