Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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