Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
