I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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