make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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