Where is the hickey?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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