Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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