fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Randomize
