Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
