Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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