in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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