I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
