Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
