Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
