What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
