C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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