No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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