Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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