I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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