thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
